The Lost City of Tyrona

The mountains of Santa Marta, now draped in jungle and dotted with waterfalls and tourist refugios, were once the home to the Tyrona, an indigenous people whose descendents, the Kogi, now inhabit the area. According to our guide, Maroon, the Tyrona immigrated (or migrated, I suppose state lines weren’t what they are today) down from [...]

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My Body is a Battleground

If my body was Colombia and my central nervous system the central government, my immune system would be the army. The FARC must be the malaria or dengue or whatever is rumored to be out there trying to infect me and wreak havoc. My legs are the guerilla controlled territory. Attacked by mosquito, sand flea, tick (garrapatas, new word!) and these tiny fly [...]

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Sales Pitch

Playa Blanca, Balu: Beautiful white sand, sparkling, clear water, hammocks, sun, a breeze, peaceful. And then the vendors come. I woke up and heard a voice, above and behind my hammock. “They’re hot and fresh, only 5 thousand. Calientitos.” I turned my head and looked into a pot of unknown fried things. Twisted my head a [...]

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Berraco

So, finally after so many months of no new words we have a new word of the day: Berraco. It was on a menu somewhere and I’ve heard it several more times in Colombia. Apparently it is a colombianismo, a colombianism. It means difficult, tough, macho. The menu item it indicated? A glass of pure [...]

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Chance Encounters Around the World

At a hostel in Prague last August I went through the typical travelers first words: Where have you been? Where are you going? Where are you from? When I answered the reciprocal of the last question with “North Carolina” (“The United States” is too broad an answer, although most foreigners couldn’t figure where North Carolina [...]

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Frequent Hookah Questions, Answered

Scene: Sam’s VIP Hostel in San Gil (yes, the one with the pool) Time: Before we left for Santa Marta (7pm), after our waterfall expedition Characters: Me and a blond English guy who sells Hookahs on the internet Me: What are you doing? Him: Writing a FAQ section for my website. Me: Oh, how’s it [...]

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Sweet Smelly Revenge

Normally when men are bothering us here we can either ignore them or flick them a lovely hand signal or a few choice words. Usually we avoid the second approach as, for some reason, a few of our suitors find it encouraging. But last night we had a chance for the perfect response to our [...]

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With is a Word

WordPress does not know the word “pee.” A big problem as I have a lot to say about pee and don’t really like the word urine. But I have known this for a while. Today, however, WordPress suggested to me that I change “with” to “wit.” No, WordPress, I believe “with” is actually the word [...]

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Another Market Recipe

After a long and bumpy bus ride during which we were awakened (I’m not sure I was even asleep) due to two missing purses (not ours, but the woman behind and the woman beside us – possible attempts at ours, but failed) we arrived in San Gil. What brought us to San Gil? Mostly the [...]

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Pool, Pool, Pool… Pool!

As seen on a poster for a hostal: -Wireless -Laundry service -Kitchen -Excursions -Human Pyramids -TV -Book Exchange -Nudity! And below the list of features this hostal had to offer was a picture of a human pyramid, a picture of people sleeping in hammocks, and a swimming pool with the caption: Pool, Pool, Pool… Pool! [...]

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